Train punctuality reaches new high - Telegraph.

When the history of the Brown premiership is written, it will conclude with the words "...but the trains ran on time."

 Gordon Brown's make-up instructions left in taxi - Telegraph.

1. Transparent Brush. Foam all over.
2. Small pot under eyes, dimple, creases, blend in.
3. Clinique. Super balanced make-up. All over again, like painting a wall, and ears. Shut eyes over lids then with make-up pad smooth over liquid.
4. Powder (dark brush) terracotta Guerlain, all over

It seems no-one in the Labour Party has the strength to give this hapless, jinxed man his political quietus. Maybe Clinique or Guerlain will offer him a sponsorship deal? Please, anything to get his hands out of the public purse.

John Prescott is most unfair to his embattled Leader. Just look at that relaxed, natural smile! Did ever a man look more at home?

 

Prodicus: 'In place of strife - Unite!' Mrs Dromey announces her candidacy.

Prodicus is on form. Do read the whole thing, but here's the nub of his thesis:

Now you are an expert.

Petition to: resign. | Number10.gov.uk.

... to get the petition for Gordon Brown to resign to over 50,000 signatures. Are there any friends and family you can direct to it this Bank Holiday weekend?

THE CROWN BLOGSPOT: Video - petition for Gordon Brown to resign.

Kudos to The Crown Blogspot. Now please urge everyone you know to click on this link and arm David Cameron with the best PMQ question ever:

20,000 sign petition calling for resignation of Gordon Brown - Telegraph.

It seems like Guido's prediction was on the money. I wonder if he does racing tips?

Petition to: carry on leading this great country of ours. | Number10.gov.uk.

After all, there are 46 cretinous loyalists who want you to.

Downing Street website petition asks Gordon Brown to resign | Politics | guardian.co.uk.

Apparently the Downing Street website crashed because so many people were logging on at once to sign the petition calling for the feartie Fifer's resignation. If only a few tens of thousands are enough to crash it, what would hundreds of thousands do.

Why don't you tell all your friends and see if we can conduct this interesting experiment? Tell them to click here, please - and not to use a silly name. Shortly the Number 10 dirty operations team will be running stories about how many times "Tony Blair" has signed.

Prodicus: Reeling drunk advocates ‘new age of sobriety’.

I am speechless. Save to admit that I wish I had written this post. I have nothing to add. Amen, brother.