So, Mr McBride. You, a man who was prepared to spread a sickening lie about a political opponent to help your boss, now tells us said boss was shocked when you told him what you had done. Says you. Did your mother never read you Aesop's Fables?

You are a liar, Mr McBride. The whole country knows exactly how little value to place upon your version of events. You have proved that you are prepared to say whatever serves the interest of your political master, without regard to morality, truth or justice. You are a despicable creature of no conceivable value to any decent employer. Which brings us to the interesting question of why - if Gordon Brown is the upright bible-thumper he purports to be - he found such a creature so valuable?

I don't let rip here like some of my fellow bloggers. I am very circumspect, because I am a lawyer. I have some small understanding of our rather nasty laws of defamation and I am worth suing. So I am careful. Writing about you, however, I feel freer than ever. Your lawyer will explain why, if you care to consult him. A true statement cannot be defamatory. And even an untrue statement is only defamatory if it lowers a man's reputation in the eyes of right thinking members of the community. 

That you planned to defame others is true, by your own admission. And it is nigh impossible, I think, to lower your reputation. The question as to why your boss felt the need to have such a man reporting directly to him is as clear an example as a lawyer ever saw of "fair comment on a matter of public interest." You McBride, make a far better legal exam question than you do a human being.

Mind you, I do believe your boss was angry. I am sure he was very angry that you were caught. I am convinced that he must have been furious you were stupid enough to work with a man like "Dolly" Draper. Ah, but wait. Perhaps that's not quite fair to you? After all, Mr Brown liked Dolly enough to invite him to Chequers of a weekend, didn't he? So perhaps he was just furious about you both being caught then?

If time proves that you are doing this because you are back on the Labour payroll, no-one will be surprised. You are, after all, no mere amateur; you are a professional liar. And, given that your name makes year-old Stinking Bishop seem like fresh Camembert, who else would give you a job but the Labour Party?

There are, to be fair, worse scum in the world than you, McBride. But then with your morals, who knows? Perhaps you have merely lacked opportunity? Time will tell. Let's hope charitably that you are no worse than you have already proved. In the meantime, if you really care about the man with the much-vaunted "moral compass," just shut up.